Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
