Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
