before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
