I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
