i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
