At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
