dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
