dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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