did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
