Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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