So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
