i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
