I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
foreskin is a definite game changer
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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