Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
A bitchslap is in order.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize