we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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