For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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