Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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