Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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