a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
