My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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