At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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