Don't you send me to vm
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
