Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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