Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
