Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
