But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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