remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
