I wannas sexs uuuuu
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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