Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
