white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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