I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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