I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
