you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
