I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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