Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
