hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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