Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
