Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
