Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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