two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
