Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
