You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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