yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
