I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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