I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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