No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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