I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
