he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize