How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she told me i tasted like america
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She's the barista slut.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
