I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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