I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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