I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
