i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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