You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
