I got her a Nickelback box set.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
