everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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