I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Randomize