So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize