I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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