did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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