If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
