will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
