How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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